Sample Reading: You are very stupid, a real dope and dumb ass! You can't read reports and believe every lie told to you. You also surround yourself with other dummies who give stupid advice. A positive point is that you are a very good liar even though you have difficulty putting together a simple sentence.
Woody the Clairvoyant of the Curmudgeon's Club has agreed to give a free sample simple one-card Tarot reading for just 666 Quatloos to cover shipping and handling. Make your request in the comment column and answer three simple questions:
1) Are you alive?
2) Are you human?
3) Are you really you?
Warning: Curmudgeons are very direct and candid and usually very insulting. Do not apply if you are a crybaby and can't take the verbal beating of truth. This product may contain bull shit.
It may take several years to see your reading in a future post, depending on the volume of traffic on the freeway to the office.