This Is Not An Apology

by Woody, the Curmudgeon Clairvoyant

Well, fvyge! I shore didn't know who that Weirsdo woman was! When she said "I could have told you that..." I thought she meant that she was married to the Bush fella. Wives always say that! Besides, I couldn't hear what she wrote much well 'cause my Apple Crystal iBall had a dead battery. Just couldn't connect to the psychic Internet right then. But being a full fledged pledged Curmudgeon, we are sworn never to apologize. So there, you old battle ax! Next time you make a comment, make sure I can understand what you mean. Hope you get choked on a fuzz ball!

Mrs. Weirsdo's Reading

by Woody, Curmudgeon Clairvoyant

The Creativity Card came up for Mrs. Weirsdo, the woman with a Phd. in Weirdology. She has a peculiar talent for breathing life into inanimate things like dolls and stuffed animals. But like Frankenstein created a monster that eventually destroyed him, her own loving little creatures will smoother her with hairballs of love.

Yes, beware. When you breathe life into a stuffed animal, be careful what you inhale.