Asinine News 3

Takara

2009-11-15T19:57:00.001-04:00

Lammy's spiritual guide and Death Cheese fan.

Wedding Soon

2009-11-06T18:31:00.002-04:00

Lammy and Peter Piper will be married before next week-end despite all the obsticles she has encountered.

Crackhead Heddy's New Boyfriend

2009-10-30T17:14:00.001-04:00

She thinks he is so cute.

Mickey Ratt Fights Back

2009-10-25T16:33:00.002-04:00

Mickey Ratt decided to stand up to the cat that had been bullying him.

Marry Animals?

2009-10-24T10:23:00.005-04:00

Big Zeke teaches a class of Animal Husbandry at Ersatz University and he wants to be a husband to an animal: Chitty the Chimp. Zeke claims Chitty is female, but lawmakers want to peek under the tutu to make sure.

The Girls Relax At Ugly Grace's

2009-10-21T02:45:00.002-04:00

Sylfie, London and Anna Marie spend Happy Hour together at Ugly Grace's Bar.

Snewgflo's New Head

2009-10-15T21:27:00.003-04:00

Dr. Schitz replaced Prof. Snewgflo's head after Lammy bit it off a while back, and he is really wanting revenge on her. He plans to stop her from marrying Peter Piper and insists he will make her marry him instead!

Orlof Arrested

2009-10-12T15:03:00.002-04:00

Orlof was arrested after he was found sleeping or passed out in the alley behind Ugly Grace's Bar. He claimed he was under the care of Dr. Doo Doo. No further details could be given because of an on-going investigation.

Sexy Sadie's Butt

2009-10-10T01:51:00.002-04:00

Sexy Sadie want to be like Pansi!

Tattoo

2009-10-09T11:26:00.001-04:00

Pussy Le Claw, sister to Kitty Le Claw, got a Death Cheese Tattoo on her chest.

Golden Glory Shower

2009-10-06T22:04:00.002-04:00

Well, we don't have a model of a real axolotl, so we have to use this krill as Gary.

Snake Falls In Love

2009-09-21T17:49:00.002-04:00

Bimbo the Boa has fallen in love with Rasputin's detachable penis.

Orlof Junior

2009-09-20T19:11:00.001-04:00

Lambkin gets excited on the playground as she watches Orlof Jr. play air-guitar.

Girls at the Park

2009-09-18T22:21:00.001-04:00

Miss Volgon

2009-09-15T13:39:00.001-04:00

The winner of the Miss Volgon Vile Beauty Contest.

Doing More Testing

2009-08-02T05:52:00.002-04:00

I was just experimenting around getting the clouds to move and girl to do things and lighting set and camera angles on Stonehenge to see what it would look like. Then if I use the scene on the Lammy blog, I'd have to make voices and try to lip sync the mouth. Then the computer makes 30 pictures for each second of video which means about 2000 individual photos for one minute which is then compressed into a video format. I didn't put any sound on this, just make a quickie to get some general idea of what it looks like.

Frank

2009-07-12T21:08:00.002-04:00

Checking Sound F/X

2009-07-08T11:32:00.002-04:00

I was just trying to learn to put the right sounds in the right places with the movements of the characters. Also I had been messing with various morphs of Lammy and a new character I call Wikki Wakki. In the first clip, it was really the voice of Sarah Palen, or Palin, however you spell her name.

The Camera and Characters

2009-07-07T00:54:00.001-04:00

Everything in the movie is programmed or scripted. I noticed that the camera can be set to move, and one of the settings was to fix it on a particular subject so that when the character moves, the camera moves so it constantly points at her. In the first scene I set the camera to always point at Filthy Fae's head, so whenever she moved her head, the camera kept the head exactly in the center of the frame which made the background move and look sort of strange. I was just curious how that would look. The character's moves are in blocks and the blocks are dragged onto the timeline of the movie with the mouse. We put several blocks together, and can even edit an individual block that scripts how the subject moves. The blocks are from a second to several and sometimes up to ten seconds. The sound is also in little files which I have downloaded from the net. The first one Lammy speaks is from Sex In The City, I think. I'm not sure where most of the sound files came from. Many from movie clips. In the last scene, Lammy, which is an Aiko 4.0 doll, is without her wig.

More Testing

2009-07-06T00:40:00.002-04:00

For these little tiny videos for a post, I used 15 frames/sec and got the video down to under 2 Mb. That uploads fast. But I also made one for dvd to play on a tv. The voices are hard to understand because I was trying a text to speech program along with a voice changer program. My microphone is broke, I spilled coffee on it.

Lip-Sync Testing

2009-07-04T05:34:00.002-04:00

I have a program to lip-sync a character as long as they are still or really from a single photo (Crazy Talk). Now I am trying to use Mimic that moves their lips while the character is moving at 30 pictures per second.

On Stage At Ugly Grace's

2009-07-02T13:29:00.005-04:00

This is silly stuff. It is really just practice. Like a basketball player might spend hours shooting at the foul line or dribbling the ball up and down the court to sharpen his control. That's practice. And I do this to get used to the controls of the programs as well as see how they look here. They look pretty cool when I put them on a dvd and watch them on a regular TV.

Fluffy The Zombie Slayer

2009-06-29T07:20:00.002-04:00

Don't Mess With Sexy Sadie!

2009-06-27T22:28:00.002-04:00

Setting Up For A Picture

2009-06-21T04:40:00.002-04:00

This is just to show how we can take pictures with 3D scenes. I put a girl doll or model on a stage with setting and told her to just move around while I showed how preparing for a picture was much like setting up a scene for a play with props. I wanted to show how we could move the camera to get different angles and perspectives of the model and even fly above the scene. The problems with movies is that the clothes and hair are stiff as you can see how they just hang and there is what we call "collision" where the legs and slacks pass through the half-skirt or v.v. And the back of the hair passes through the body stiffly. That is why those Japanese Anime cartoons have girls in very short skirts or they have to wear slacks or shorts. Dresses are a pain in animation. When making single photo shots these things can be corrected and the hair and clothes can be moved to adjust to the body movement.

Xin and Frank Hook Up

2009-06-20T14:37:00.001-04:00

Xin and Frank N. Ferter hit it off right away when they met at the bar.

Where All The Girls Come From

2009-06-16T23:01:00.001-04:00

The doll with the captain's hat in the bar picture was just one of the girls. All these models were "morphed" from a base doll called Aiko 3. It is a third generation Anime doll. Lammy is made from Aiko 4, a fourth generation base doll, much more complex in it's wiring. The base doll is basically a wire frame like chicken wire, with skin covering that is textured and toned. Then we add a wig and clothes. Or make them transparent like Spooky Gal in the back. They also have other base dolls which they gave to us for free as DAZ3d.com gave us the program free. But we must buy the clothes and settings and props. They give us several free props and sets free each month. Artists create clothes and props and sell them. DAZ sells more advanced programs where you can make clothes and buildings and props, but they cost in the hundreds of dollars. Also this kind of program should be run on a desktop with advanced graphics cards added like a gaming computer. Most graphic cards cost from $100 on up around $500. It takes from a few minutes to sometimes hours for the computer to create or process one picture if it is very complex. That is why I like these third generation dolls so much, they a very simple and easy on the computer resources and load from the matrix quickly and are easy to manipulate and pose and quick to process in a picture.

Wide Angle Lens

2009-06-15T17:06:00.000-04:00

Photography has been a hobby for me for fifty years. Whenever I had spare time, I'd go take walks for hours and take pictures, or look for things to take pictures of. I'd have to find something interesting and then try to get a shot of it. Now with this matrix of 3D files, I can get an idea in my head and then create it and take the picture instead of just happening upon something by luck. The cameras work just like real cameras, like setting wide angle lens or telephoto and getting the same effects as with a real camera. And the subjects are very patient and never complain, doing whatever I direct them to do or even how to dress or even morph them into strange creatures. I have to do the make-up, costume, lighting, set design, camera settings: all right here in my comfy chair. It's kind of fun, for me anyway.

Bi Bi Sweet Muire

2009-06-14T03:02:00.001-04:00

Quiet Time

2009-06-12T14:01:00.001-04:00

That was Spooky Guy that nailed the coat rack on the wall backwards!

Going Shopping

2009-06-11T07:30:00.001-04:00

Cans of Whoop Ass

2009-06-09T03:01:00.001-04:00

Anna Bananna poses for an ad for cans of whoop ass.

House Pets

2009-06-08T06:44:00.002-04:00

The red haired Mentha sister checks on her pets.

Ned Relaxes In His Cave

2009-06-07T13:02:00.000-04:00

Baby Piper

2009-06-06T05:35:00.001-04:00

Could this be a hint that Peter Piper might really be Lambkin's daddy?

Mickey Ratt Reflects

2009-06-02T00:52:00.000-04:00

Magical Fart

2009-05-31T16:37:00.000-04:00

Kizz Myass, the leprechaun reporter for the Crappy Times, lets a magical fart.

Joining In The Group Shower

2009-05-30T00:05:00.001-04:00

The girls saw Creepy Peeper peeking at them and invited him to join their group shower.

Creepy Peeper Peeks

2009-05-29T00:51:00.001-04:00

Creepy Peeper tries to peek at the girls as they take a group shower.

Fuzzy Fairy

2009-05-26T18:14:00.001-04:00

The Man Fairy

2009-05-25T14:23:00.000-04:00

Grand-Mummy and Lambkin

2009-05-22T16:40:00.002-04:00

Lambkin wants to be a death metal band member when she grows up, like Axe Man of Death Cheese. Could he be Lambkin's daddy?

Nervous Norvis and Anxious Angie

2009-05-17T10:55:00.004-04:00

The mummy Nervous Norvis started coming unwrapped when Anxious Angie agreed to come work in his coffee shop and also to go steady with him.

A Simple Dream

2009-05-15T14:32:00.000-04:00

Miscellaneous

2009-05-02T21:16:00.001-04:00

I was just looking at some things in my matrix.

CHRISTOPHER

2009-04-30T03:13:00.001-04:00

CHRISTOPHER made a miraculous appearance at the Show Your Glory Church. He was made up in all his glory from the spiritual other world.

Alley Behind Ugly Grace's Bar

2009-04-24T21:21:00.001-04:00

Rodney Roach and a friend look for stuff to serve in their diner.

Impersonations

2009-04-20T19:25:00.002-04:00

Do you recognize any of these voice impersonations that Patty Lamb (Lammy) does? She says a few dirty words. I thought that one was Nervous Norvis, but I think it was really the Crocodile Hunter.

New 'Show Your Glory' Church

2009-04-07T00:56:00.002-04:00

Rev. Jimmy Reptile welcomes his congregation to the new Show Your Glory Church and Any O Faith'll Do Spiritual Center.

Family Reunion

2009-04-05T00:12:00.001-04:00

Neanderthal Ned lovingly greets his first cousin, Swinging Louise, at his family reunion.

The Visitor

2009-03-27T16:59:00.001-04:00

Rocky the stone guy came over to visit Neanderthal Ned.

Arsewipe's House

2009-03-16T05:06:00.002-04:00

Come on in, takes your pants off and relax!

Nellie Looks for Neanderthal Ned

2009-03-14T06:03:00.001-04:00

Ned's Common-law cave mate, Nel, goes to town looking for her guy.

Annie Mae

2009-03-10T14:40:00.001-04:00

Annie Mae is back in town looking for Orlof.

He Stinks!

2009-03-08T07:25:00.002-04:00

VooDoo Vickie has been know to go out with some real slime balls in her day, but she just couldn't stomach the smell of Arsewipe.

Chasing A Dirty Fairy

2009-02-28T19:20:00.002-04:00

Fun in the forest

Watch that Gun!

2009-02-20T10:44:00.001-04:00

I guess the emoticon guy and meerkat had a problem outside Ugly Grace's bar the other night.

Vampires

2009-02-18T23:17:00.001-04:00

Dirty Dan and Nossy the vampires talk about old times when they were young suckers when they met at the Netherworld Class Reunion.

Mary Jane Shiznit and Zot

2009-02-11T06:53:00.003-04:00

Mary Jane Shiznit enjoys time with her son, Zot, as he plays with mushrooms.

Lula Visits

2009-02-06T01:52:00.000-04:00

Two Loves Collide

2009-02-01T10:46:00.003-04:00

Xin was in love with Hinny, but she was also in love with the idea of becoming a sorority member of BAB (Bad Ass Bitches). During Pledge Week, Nanzy told Xin that to show her loyalty and desire to become a member, she had to stand silently and watch Nanzy have sex with her boyfriend, Hinny. Xin was perplexed and torn emotionally, but complied. Hinny and Nanzy got naked while Xin nervously watched. But then Nanzy jumped up before the sex and laughed, telling Xin to take her clothes off and make love to her boyfriend, then Nanzy left saying that it was just a test.

Pledge Week for BAB

2009-01-31T04:40:00.003-04:00

Xin was told to make a snowman nude as part of Pledge Week for BAB sorority, but Nanzy meant make a nude snowman without features or props, but Xin thought she had to make the snowman while she was nude.

Joining BAB

2009-01-29T06:22:00.003-04:00

Xin was nervous as well as excited with Nanzy as she learned that she had been accepted as a pledge to the Beta Alfa Beta sorority on the campus of Ersatz University. She said she always wanted to be a BAB since she first heard of them as a young girl. BAB stands for Bad Ass Bitches or Bad Ass Babes, depending on who is around when one speaks.

Workout Gym

2009-01-28T20:39:00.003-04:00

Winnie and Sugar-Sally went to the exercise room before studying for their upcoming exam.

The Pool

2009-01-26T06:32:00.001-04:00

Flora and Mary Jane cool off in the wading pool.

Mr. Bones

2009-01-25T20:09:00.001-04:00

The Biology teacher.

Dancing In The Sewer

2009-01-21T16:00:00.001-04:00

Iris and Ann Muire wore identical dresses to the ball in Arsewipe's sewer.

Netherworld Hotel Gym

2009-01-19T17:15:00.003-04:00

Anna Bananna tries to get the attention of Axe Man and the other guys from Marilyn at the workout gym.

Sara and Her Parents

2009-01-17T15:40:00.002-04:00

BeezleBabe and Rev. Jimmy Reptile stand with their daughter, Sara at the 'Show Your Glory' Church. Also in the pic is Church Mouse.

Rev. Reptile's Daughter

2009-01-17T01:15:00.002-04:00

Sara Reptile, daughter of Rev. Jimmy, argues with Diva Demon and Satan's Cutie about religion.

Alien Guy's Extended Family

2009-01-10T11:42:00.003-04:00

The Alien Guy with his wife, Dog Face Girl behind him in purple, and his niece Nikki Nebulae in the short skirt. Mary Jane reaches for Zot, the child she had by Alien Guy. In the back are a couple more friends or relatives.

Is The Party Over?

2009-01-01T17:35:00.001-04:00

Beach Holiday Film

2008-12-27T09:41:00.002-04:00

Filthy Fred got beefed up to play as Santa with Sexy Sadie in King Smutt's new Beach Holiday film.

Diva Demon Joins Church

2008-12-22T21:19:00.003-04:00

Rev. Jimmy Reptile of the 'Show Your Glory' church welcomes Diva Demon to his flock. Also in the picture is Church Mouse.

Harry Shows His Big Wand

2008-12-21T06:37:00.002-04:00

Wizard Harry Wiener shows the Witch Enditall his huge wand.

Snowman

2008-12-18T06:41:00.004-04:00

A fugitive snowman was seen hiding out in the woods. Heck! I know it's bad when I wake up and can't go back to sleep and make a picture like this. Maybe this is something like the dream camera to records pictures from your dreams.

The Devil's Girlfriend

2008-12-10T03:07:00.002-04:00

Beezlebabe, or something like that.

Kizz And Heddy Dance At Ugly Grace's

2008-11-12T01:17:00.002-04:00

Here's a boring video clip of Kizz Myass and Crackhead Heddy having a Dance Battle at Ugly Grace's Bar.

The Old Scotsman Sings

2008-11-02T09:02:00.002-04:00

On the Lord Iffy Show, Shania Wannabe was turned into an old Scotsman and the idea of Sean Connery singing kept running through my mind.

Speadol Renee

2008-10-26T02:09:00.003-04:00

This is a fairly new patron at Ugly Grace's bar, but he's been coming in a lot lately. We don't know much about him yet. What is your first impression of him, like, what instrument do you think he plays in a band. All we know is that he stutters and drinks lime Vodka. Some think he is from Canada because he smokes Maple leaves.

Lord Iffy Show

2008-10-13T00:05:00.003-04:00

Be sure to read what happened this week on the Lord Iffy Show.

Sexy Sadie Does A Commercial

2008-10-08T21:34:00.003-04:00

Hal Itosis hired Sexy Sadie to do a TV Commercial for his sale: a weight losing machine for the gym which was guaranteed to take off ten pounds of ugly fat, instantly!

Attempted Interview

2008-10-07T07:28:00.003-04:00

Lyanne Sakks tried to interview Metal Tinkerbell.

Advice From Penny Wize

2008-10-02T04:13:00.003-04:00

Lyanne Sakks talks to the new financial expert for Asinine News, Penny Wize.

Lyanne Sakks Report

2008-09-07T19:47:00.003-04:00

Lyanne Sakks shows a hidden camera movie of one of her co-workers at the Crappy Times, Anna Bananna.

Reddy The Rip

2008-09-02T10:20:00.002-04:00

Reddy the Rip dances for Peter Piper.

Anna Bananna of the Crappy Times

2008-08-30T13:01:00.004-04:00

Here is the latest photo of Anna Bananna, the Home and Garden writer in the Crappy Times news office. She has been working out and may become the health and lifestyle contributor for the media outlet.

Grimmy Lost His Sickle

2008-08-27T19:41:00.003-04:00

Our old buddy, Grimmy, the Grim Reaper, has lost that sickle he carries around all the time, and had to steal a shovel from the grave digger.. Enditall had to swipe one from him when she lost her broom. It seems there is a contageous disease, like a virus that eats away memory, going around and it was started with the Axe Man when he lost his Axe.

Alien Guy's Mom Goes Shopping

2008-08-26T06:11:00.001-04:00

She just drove down the block from her home on Shiznit.

Enditall the Witch Lost Her Broom

2008-08-23T20:52:00.002-04:00

The witch, Enditall, has misplaced her broom and has been trying to ride a shovel she swiped from a grave digger.

The Show Your Glory Church

2008-08-20T12:47:00.003-04:00

Rev. Jimmy Reptile bows before an Angel that appeared to him and his church mouse.

Lyanne Sakks Reports the News

2008-08-01T20:24:00.002-04:00

Gravity sucks, but it seems it is suckingmore than ever lately in the Netherworld.

Annie Mae Dances

2008-07-26T01:25:00.003-04:00

This was during the graduation ceremony when Annie Mae and Lammy were getting their diplomas. Her legs were very stiff from sitting so very long and listening to Minnie Strator's very boring speech.

Dewey Banjer and Oxy Moron

2008-07-17T06:53:00.001-04:00

Good buddies.

Bear Hug

2008-07-13T21:00:00.002-04:00

Hobbes Jr. finds a friend.

Strange Stalker Stalks Strange

2008-07-10T19:59:00.002-04:00

A strange Dutchman stalks Lilly Strange.

Show Your Gory Church

2008-05-28T12:02:00.002-04:00

Pansi and Rev. Reptile show their not-so-glorious glory.

Tattoo Lady

2008-05-18T16:09:00.002-04:00

For details, click here

Doug's Poem Redo

2008-04-06T19:34:00.005-04:00

We think we got the voices and faces wrong, so we will try again.

Doug's poem is here

Doug's Poem

2008-04-06T16:22:00.002-04:00

Original on Waking Ambrose